Because you can tell a lot about a man by the type of cheese he eats.

Cheese is an exact science. Not in a Large Hadron Collider kind of way, that’s true, but definitely when it comes to the culinary arts. After all, this is a lactose product that we willingly eat when it’s gone off – blue cheeses are mouldy for crying out loud. But that’s where the science comes in: when has it gone too far and how far can we really push this? Don’t try that this at home, leave it to professionals. And talking about professionals, we asked The Cheese Society to recommend a few seasonal options, perfect for that Christmas cheese board: “We specialise in really good farmhouse cheeses like Vacherin Mont D’Or - it’s a washed rind, mountain style, oozing cheese with a strip of pine bark round it. Colston Bassett Stilton, on the other hand, is a mature, naturally crusted blue cheese with herbaceous, rich flavours. For a full-on Cheddar, Quickes Extra Mature is fabulous. It recently won a Gold Medal at the British Cheese Awards.

To accompany your cheese, you could try an oven baked baby fig paste ball, wrapped in leaves to create a sweet and sticky paste, a handmade chutney, some artisan bread or a wafer or two of crispy biscuits. Or try a slice of buttered Lincolnshire Plumbread with a Cheddar and Wensleydale, a traditional favourite in Lincolnshire to enjoy with cheese. To drink, we’d say Port and full-bodied reds go well with the cheddar and the stilton – or you could try Pedro Ximenez, a sweet aged sherry, with hints of chocolate and rich raisin flavours.  Crisp, dry white wines are a great accompaniment. Champagne goes with everything!”